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Murphy's Laws on E-mail

• Develop a thing so that any idiot can use it - and only idiots will use it.
• Any e-mail that has more than 2 attached forwards - you've already seen 6 months ago.
• When you unsubscribe to one junk mail list, you inevitably tell 4 others that you exist.
• The most tenacious junk mail lists will require you to register with their newsletter to unsubscribe.
• The worst e-mails you receive will have no subject to warn you about their content.
• The smuttiest, dirtiest e-mails will always be accidentally opened in the presence of your most uptight boss.
• Flaming e-mail strings will never be limited to just the people fighting - forcing you to be an unwilling witness/ participant to their immaturity.
• The e-mail strings with the most responses will have subjects that you have no interest in.
• There is no escape from e-mail strings once it has been responded to five times.
• The largest attachments are never preempted with warning or explanation.
• The largest attachments are doomed to be downloaded on your slowest possible connection rate.
• The easiest attachments to open are viruses.
• One in six attachments you receive will be in a format you can't open.
• The sender of an attachment you can't open will be unable or unwilling to reformat it so that you can read it.
• Only immediately after you have finally recovered from a network virus will the person in the next cube open the exact same virus and re-infect the network.
• Immediately after you are infected with the latest virus - everyone you know will swamp you with e-mail warnings about it.
• Three out of ten warnings about e-mail viruses will be infected themselves.
• You will only open the most damaging e-mail viruses immediately prior to backing up your latest work.
• Composing joke e-mail messages will take up 8 hours of your workweek.
• Responding to joke e-mail messages will take up another 8 hours or your workweek.
• Breaking up with a girlfriend via e-mail is never acceptable.
• Breaking up with a boyfriend via e-mail is preferred above all other communication methods.
• The stupidest e-mails are forwarded around the world.
• Clever or informative e-mails never make it outside a small clique of people.
• E-mail is NOT secure.
• E-mail is NOT private.
• Any complaints made over e-mail will be forwarded to the person you are complaining about.
• Any plans made over e-mail will backfire disastrously.
• The IT department can/ will/ does read all e-mail transmissions - making them the ultimate source for the best company gossip.